IV. The History of Soviet-Zionist Relations - The Tragedy of Darth Brezhnev the Wise
Let me tell you the story of a great Soviet master and his treacherous apprentice ...
No long preamble today. Just a medium-sized one should do the trick, I think.
My dedicated, intelligent and handsome Stalkers should probably get the thing by now. A quick review of what I usually say in one form or another:
Identity > Morality
da peasants + proles r dum
popular history is largely fake
Rurik doesn’t like Christianity or Communism
the Qatriqts are NOT in control, the Trotskyites are
women. 👹👹👹
obligatory WH40K reference (sometimes I reference other sci-fi)
lurn 2 meditate guise, OK?
I can’t wait to just feed AI my articles and podcasts and have it start churning out content for me in the future. So far though, I think it still falls a bit short of truly capturing that patented, but elusive Rurik Skywalker wit and charm and insightfulness.
A theoretical AI assistant is the only bit of tech that I’ve been looking forward to since the XBOX 360, frankly. I’d love an AI secretary that I can just outsource my research to with verbal commands. I think a good name for this personal research assistant AI would be “Cortana” although a prototype of the program I’d use exists already and is called “Jarvis”.
I’d say: “Cortana, pull up an “Early Life” check on Brezhnev.”
And then: “Cortana, cross-reference that with what LiveJournal Russian schizo-theorists wrote about Brezhnev in the early 00s”.
Finally: “Cortana, calculate the optimal article designed to offend the most amount of people and slaughter the most sacred cows, sprinkle in a few foreign slurs to spice it up a tad, and then hack Martyanov’s mailing list so we can send it to all of his readers.”
*Your wish is my command, Master Slav. The Covenant will never see it coming.*
“Cortana and “Master Chief" are a video game reference, by the way.
My older readers often complain that I reference elements of popular culture that they are not familiar with. However, Halo came out more than 20 years ago and had mass appeal so I initially thought it would be fair game to reference it in my articles.
And why do I reference a piece of popular culture and make it a theme in most of my more difficult articles?
To annoy my older readers, who don’t like moving pictures (they’re called gifs, gramps) and who barrage me with condescending emails when I do?
Well, yes. And no, actually.
I do this because it is an associative memory trick that helps readers remember what it is that I just wrote in the near future. Difficult-sounding Soviet names and plots will be forgotten about if I don’t tie them in to something that already has a firm foothold in peoples’ memories. So you won’t remember all the details on their own, but you might remember the Halo reference that I made and that will jog your memory in the future.
Trust me, it works.
However, I know that if I rely on Halo themes, as I had originally wanted to and planned, to spice up the article and to make it memorable through this associative memory programming trick, it won’t be effective because the reader has to know what Halo is, which I doubt that mine do. So I guess I’ll use Star Wars references today, because that came out like a century ago, and everyone should know it.
And I never thought that I’d be writing for an older audience like I do now, by the way.
It would be better if I had an AI that could translate my writing into various subculture styles automatically is what I am saying. Oh, and I bring up the AI assistant thing because of just how many tabs I have open now. Take a look:
And only half of them are pornography!
This is all because I’m researching Brezhnev conspiracy theories on the Russian internet. I’d much prefer being able to mainline download this information into my brain, or, barring that, to have that research assistant helping out. I should have a fundraiser to buy an AI assistant and to figure out how to link it up with my brain.
That’s where you come in, dear reader.
This is the part where I remind you that all the good stuff is behind the paywall and that I deserve your money.
The non-paywall free stuff? Pure drek, actually.
If you like it, well, that says something about you, I think. Because I wouldn’t force my worst enemies to read the non-paywalled parts of this blog as I flayed them alive, it is that bad compared to the tip top content that is behind the paywall.
Yes, I’m offering you an affordable escape from the drudgery.
True Slavic gnosis lies behind the paywall line!
I expect to see you there.
And I expect you to remember every point that I made in this article as well.
It will be on the test!
May the Force be with you, Space Cowboy.
