Would It Be Funnier If Shoigu Was Fired Or If He Wasn't?

I never bet against Shoigu.

A few months into the SMO, I was told that Shoigu’s canning was a done deal by people with “patriotic inside sources” within the Kremlin. I was in Russia at the time because the FSB hadn’t figured out that I was a Anglo-Nazi terrorist or whatever yet. This, plus the general optimism within Russia’s Orthodox, Conservative and Nationalist scenes convinced me to start writing in the first place. I thought I’d be the bearer of good news and triumphalism and that stuffs sells, lemme tell you. My initial articles were very well-received. People were literally sending me my own articles back to me urging me to read them not knowing that I was the author. Even former bosses who used to chew me out for being a no-talented slacker or whatever were praising this new blogger on the block. Unwisely, I informed them that I was the blogger in question which meant no more reposts. I kick myself about that to this day. Literally my first article ended up being reposted everywhere to great acclaim. After I soured on the SMO and the supposed done-deal reforms which never came around, my fall from grace followed soon after.

But now I hear rumors and discussions all over Telegram about how Shoigu is supposed to be fired in the coming days as Putin announces a new cabinet.

Shoigu??? Getting fired??? Dare I hope again???

This is part of a larger rumor campaign that big personnel changes are expected. Even Scott Ritter sounds excited:

Putin’s inauguration began final stage of Russia’s purge of malign Western influence

This time, it was different commenting on Vladimir Putin’s inauguration for a fifth term as Russia’s president on Tuesday.

In his inauguration speech, Vladimir Putin made it clear that the security of Russia and the Russian people are his top priority. Why would he have to say this? Because as we speak, Russia finds itself under attack from many nations around the world – nations that seek the existential extermination of Russia, if not through violence, then through economic strangulation.

Over Putin’s tenure, Russia has gradually “purged” itself of these attitudes with the conflict in Ukraine serving as a catalyst accelerating Russia’s transformation, forcing elites and ordinary citizens alike to reconsider who they are and what defines them.

Putin’s new term to redefine Russia in the final stages of this transformation that it has been making continuously since 1999, a Russia that will for once and all purge the poison of Western malign influence out of its system, and create a pure Russian notion of what Russia is.

And marginally more credible sources pro-Russia are also talking about this as well. Here:

Sergey Shoigu will leave the Russian government, the sources of Tsargrad in the apparatus of the government, the Presidential Administration and the Federation Council confidently say. And his successor has already met with the president. Is it worth the sources to believe? We find out in the coming days and even the clock.

May 6 Vladimir Putin for the last time officially met with the current government Of Russia. It would be correct to say "while still acting". Already on May 7, the time comes for the official assumption of office — of the inauguration of the head of state. After that, all ministers resign in order for the president to present the new prime minister to the Duma, and the ministers of the power bloc to the Federation Council —.

According to the law, the formation of a government in its entirety takes until mid-June. Absolutely all experts and sources of information from various media and television channels, including Tsargrad, argue that Vladimir Putin will not wait so long. The meeting of the State Duma has already been scheduled for May 10, it is obvious that the deputies are ready to vote for the new Prime Minister, and there is almost no doubt that this will be "old" Mikhail Mishustin.

Wow, they even claim that Mikhail “Cyber-Gulag” Mishustin will be kicked.

The nervous situation in the corridors of this department reigned after the arrest of Deputy Minister Timur Ivanov: it became clear that Sergey Shoigu was by no means as unsinkable as it seemed before. For some time everyone wondered who could replace him.

(…)

There are two — candidates for replacement, and both Tsargrad called in their previous publications.

This is the Deputy Minister of Defense — Colonel General Yunus-Bek Evkurov and the Governor of the Tula Region — Hero of Russia, Colonel General Alexei Dumin.

Where will General Dumin be sent

Dumin is talked about much more often — and it’s clear why. Vladimir Putin met with Dumin a few days ago. Observers noted that formally it was a completely ordinary meeting of the head of state with the head of one of the regions of Russia. In the open part of this meeting, nothing was said about the career prospects of Dumin, and what was said behind closed doors, behind these doors remained.

That was Malofeev’s controlled opposition conservative-orthodoxy rag that I quoted from. They are shills and have lost a lot of media share in Russia because of that perception among the public. But the mention of Dyumin is interesting. Prigozhin claimed that Dyumin was the man behind the “green men” in Crimea operation, not Shoigu, who simply claimed credit for the Crimean Spring afterwards. We may have more to say about Dyumin in the coming days and weeks if any of this is true.

It probably isn’t though.

Here is what another political camp in Russia had to say. Nakanune:

In connection with the arrest of the Deputy Minister of Defense of Russia Timura Ivanova many questions arise — why right now, will this affect the Minister of Defense? According to the political analyst Daria Mitina, Indeed, this can affect the Ministry of Defense primarily after the inauguration of the president on May 7.

— It is clear that the official wording of the charge — a bribe in a million rubles — is only the beginning of the process, other articles will be added there. Ivanov was in development for a long time, the folder was chubby, the president gave the arrest warrant personally and, probably, it is no coincidence that this happened right now, because after May 7, after the inauguration of the president, candidatures will be made for the main posts of — and this, of course, is a signal that our Ministry of Defense may undergo changes.

We need to look at those appointments that will be made, the whole logic of the process suggests that our Minister of Defense can change.

Although the decision still remains with the president, because this agency is power. But by the fact that the case was initiated right now — is a signal that, firstly, there will be changes, secondly, that Ivanov, maybe, not the only one in this chain — at least in pair with Borodin. The wording of the prosecution may undergo changes, and I do not exclude that it can be changed to an “organized criminal community”".

So there you have it.

Something is going on and it involves the fate of Shoigu.

To honor the occasion, let us take a moment to remember who and what Shoigu is. For years he has been referred to as “the Plywood Marshall”. This means that he’s a fake general with no military experience or respect from within military circles in Russia. Even the people who still believe in Z-victory and that Kiev is toast that I know still hate Shoigu with a passion. Cognitive dissonance doesn’t begin to describe it. And I have literally never ever met or heard of someone within patriotic circles liking Shoigu in Russia. Before the SMO, he was routinely mocked as literally the most corrupt man in Russia.

Despite having no military background, Shoigu became the supreme general, essentially, because of an affirmative action ethnic policy of the Kremlin. If you don’t know, Shoigu is half-Tuvan. Funny enough, he might actually be part-Chosen as well … but that’s just a conspiracy theory that half the Russian conspiracy net seems to believe in, but they’re just “lunatics” and very bad, immoral people, I’m sure.

We don’t even need to go there yet when talking about Shoigu, to be honest. It is enough to know that he and the political big shots around him in Tuva were essentially planning a Chechnya-style secession in the 90s. All the precursors to mass violence were in place.

• Ethnic targeting of Russians by Tuvans

• Language discrimination

• Employment discrimination

• Targeted assassinations of Russian politicians

• Forced relocation of ethnic Russians

Prior to the SMO, Tuva was significantly more anti-Russian than Kiev-controlled Ukraine was and the local authorities had more blood on their hands.

Thus, Shoigu was invited to join the rulers of the new Russia as basically part of a similar appeasement strategy to the one that was used for the Caucasus. Moscow allied with one chieftain and turned a blind eye on him gorging himself on stolen public funds so long as he made sure that the other Tuvans didn’t secede.

But the other reason why he rose so high is because of the military services that he provided to the Yeltsin revolutionaries who detonated the USSR by defeating the military and the few Loyalists left in the Soviet government. Here:

« Shoigu began his career as an action movie – Together with the Chechen detachments of Shamil Basayev in 1991, during the days of the GKCHP, his guys defended the Yeltsinsky White House. By that time, Boris Yeltsin appointed him head of the special services of the RSFSR – the so-called « MES » (then it was called « Russian Rescue Corps »). Yeltsin did not have an army, the KGB and the Ministry of Internal Affairs did not either, and the « rescuers » had an opportunity then, in the first half of 1991, to create its own detachment of semi-legal thugs ».

Shoigu’s paramilitary structures actively supported Yeltsin during both state coups – and 1991 and 1993.

This arrangement proved remarkably stable.

And Tuva quickly became the most impoverished and apocalyptic in the Russian Federation, bar none. Unlike Kadyrov, Shoigu never even bothered to share some of the spoils for some reason. If anything, he probably stole more than anyone who ever came before him. This is probably because he is only half-Tuvan …

OK, OK, I can’t resist.

I want to share some of the main conspiracy accusations leveled against Shoigu and then go into some fun ones. Or, actually, let’s flip that. We will do the fun stuff first.

Shoigu the Kabbalist?

People noticed a lot of weird symbology on the new “War Cathedral” that he constructed:

Or, it looks like an Orthodox cross. But the cross IS a Saturnic symbol to be fair.

Again with the Purim symbology!

It is mostly well-meaning Orthodox patriots who write this sort of thing on the conspiracy net, and boy, is there a lot of it. The problem is that they can’t ever figure the full thing out on account of the fact that they are Christians and so they are blind in one eye when it comes to Abrahamism.

But the “War Cathedral” is perfect proof of everything that I say about the syncretism of Abrahamic occultism here on this blog. The reason that it is black and has all those weird symbols not to mention Communist symbols in it is because it is a merger of Orthodoxy and Masonry and Communism aka Saturnism which is the actual religion that Russia’s siloviks participate in. Remember what Prigozhin was into? Exactly, the exact same thing.

But I will cover all of this in great detail another time, as I have already promised before.

Shoigu’s Ethnic Bolshevik Background

First of all, we don’t even know for sure if Shoigu’s family’s last name really was Shoigu all these years or not. It seems that it was changed from Serey-oglu, which means “Grey Wolf” and that this was done quietly. Like all Kremlinoid creatures, his “Early Life” is incredibly murky and there are several versions of it out there.

We do know about Shoigu’s long career in organized crime in Moscow and his long stint at the Department of Emergencies in Russia. Did you know that his big contribution was that he reorganized it to make it FEMA (the US agency) compliant? Like, he set up a FEMA branch, essentially, in Russia.

Have fun with that one, American conspiracy theorists!

On the house!

Now, his mom also has some surname discrepancies. But let’s go with her maiden surname.

It is customary to describe to mother Sergey Kozhugetovich [Shoigu] simply as: « Honored Agricultural Worker Alexander Yakovlevna ». And the last name is – Shoigu. Not a word is often said about the maiden name. Although it is completely incomprehensible why her children are ashamed of the mother’s maiden name: Rivlin.

Her father, Rivlin Yakov [of Jacob, a common Chosenite name] Vasilievich, has been a member of the RSDLP since 1903, and in 1906 he joined the Mensheviks.

He served 4 months in the royal prison for campaigning for workers of the Putilovsky plant. It is believed that in 1908 « departed from the policy of ». In Soviet times, he, a dentist in his specialty, worked as a librarian. They assure you that so, « a little man », disguised as GPU-NKVD. He died his death in 1942. What he actually did in Soviet times – no one knows.

So, Shoigu is a literal “ethnic Bolshevik” on his mother’s side of the family. This might explain his eagerness to side with the Andropovite/Trotskyite revolutionaries in the 90s and why he has enjoyed such an interesting career in Moscow. It also is in keeping with the ethnic character of most of the other key figures in Moscow around first Yeltsin and then Putin.

…

Now, Shoigu has proven to be unsinkable over the long years of his rampage through Russia’s institutions. In recent years, we even found out that he had been stashing money in Lithuanian shell companies via his illegitimate daughter. These were huge sums of money being moved and it begs the question where he was getting them from. The answer to that is that he was looting the army, of course.

Well, and the navy too.

The firing of Deputy Ivanov for stealing obscene amounts of money is not the first time that one of Shoigu’s underlings got in trouble. There was a major scandal involving an organized police crime ring in Moscow of non-Russians that involved Shoigu’s then-deputy. Here:

To match for himself, he also recruited crooks to leadership positions in his ministry…

I especially remember the scandal with his head of the internal security service of the Ministry of Emergencies of Russia, Lieutenant General Vladimir Kamilievich Ganeev.

This uncle was very much reminiscent of Shoigu, only he came from the most elite communal Bashkir clan ( and Shoigu from Tuvan ), and was the most trusted person in office.

This Ganeev was, according to investigators, the leader of the police gang of the so-called “militant werewolves” …. They covered all Moscow casinos and falsified criminal cases in the hundreds…

As a result, Geneev received almost 20 years for his activities.

But Shoigu and then came out of the water dry, although he simply could not khave not known about the activities of his closest employee for so many years.

NOTE: if you want to read up more on the story of the “Werewolves” and their crazy criminal activities, you can here. Many believe that they are still in positions of power today.

NOTE x2: if you want to read the more full list of how much Shoigu has stolen and how, you can here.

My point is that 1) the entire security state that has been built up around Putin is based on corruption and that 2) they only ever arrest anyone if he falls out of favor with another rival gang and 3) that Shoigu has survived similar situations before.

Thus, I am not optimistic that he will be fired.

I’d need to know the rival gang that is working against him, at least.

Actually, I think that this is all just more red meat being thrown to Russia’s patriots to keep them hopeful. For now. Then it will be gulags for them once they are no longer needed. Who will even know the fate of these people? I’m the only guy who bothers to write about it anyway.

What I do know is that what happens next will be funny either way.

If he gets fired, all the shills who called me a traitor for calling for the firing of Shoigu will be forced to eat their words. Remember that Aussie Cossack interview I did? Yeah, exactly. Also, if he isn’t fired, then the black comedy that is this war and Putin’s government in general simply continues.

Either way, I will be chuckling.

You should too.

thejokerlaughing.gif

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BONUS:

Nikola wrote about these rumors too. Here:

With age it becomes harder to make behavioral changes. Vladimir Putin, who will turn 72 this year, seems to be finding it tough to adjust to new realities.

Unwilling (or unable) to make any crucial changes to the way the Kremlin oligarchy operates, the Russian leader is likely aiming to preserve the status quo in Russia for as long as possible. “Never change a losing team” used to be his modus operandi. But will he finally get rid of some members of his “old guard”?

Following the March 2024 presidential election, in which he won 87 percent of the vote, on May 7 Putin was sworn in for another term as Russian President. In line with the constitution, the government of Prime Minister Mikhail Mishustin resigned at the start of the new presidential term. In the coming days, Putin is expected to appoint a new one.

Although a technocrat, Mishustin, who was appointed in January 2020 as Prime Minister, is expected to continue his role; it remains uncertain whether Putin’s close allies – foreign and defense ministers Sergey Lavrov and Sergy Shoigu – will retain their posts. Despite the catastrophic results they have had over the past several years, so far Putin has not had the political will (or courage) to fire them.

Lavrov, 74, is the longest-serving foreign minister since the fall of the Soviet Union, having been in the post since 2004. What makes the Moscow-born half-Armenian, whose father’s last name was Kalantaryan, so special and irreplaceable?

As a result of Lavrov’s diplomacy, Russia lost its influence not only in the post-Soviet space, but also in other parts of the world. The fact that only six out of 14 former Soviet republic’s leaders agreed to attend the Victory Day parade in Moscow on May 9 perfectly illustrates Russia’s position in what it sees as its “near abroad.”

Following Putin’s adventure in Ukraine, Russia was effectively cut off from the Balkans – a region that is now firmly in the Western zone of influence. Also, as a result of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, as well as the Kremlin’s passive approach regarding the conflict in Nagorno-Karabakh, Moscow’s nominal ally Armenia has dramatically distanced itself from Russia.

The Kremlin is now having a hard time preserving the remnants of its influence in the South Caucasus and Central Asia – two strategically important regions that have traditionally been in Russia’s geopolitical orbit. If Putin gives Lavrov “another chance” to pursue his failed diplomacy, it will be a clear indication that the Russian ruling elite is satisfied with the geopolitical defeats Moscow has been suffering for decades.

The same applies to Sergey Shoigu, who is seen as one of the most corrupt Russian officials. Despite suffering colossal losses in Ukraine, and not achieving any of the goals of the so-called special military operation there, Shoigu continues to head the Russian Defense Ministry. Although he has never been in the military, that does not prevent the-69-year-old ethnic Tuvan from staggering under a load of medals like a Soviet general.

But since his deputy Timur Ivanov has recently been arrested over bribery-taking charges, it is not unlikely that Putin will have to replace Shoigu with a less compromised figure. Alternatively, if Shoigu remains in charge of the Russian Defense Ministry, it will mean the Kremlin is satisfied with the way he is fighting the war in Ukraine, even though over the past two years Russia has not had any strategic victories in the Eastern European nation.

But even if Putin fires both Shoigu and Lavrov, that is unlikely to have a serious impact on the way the Russian Federation operates. The fish rots from the head. In order to change Russia, Putin would have to fire himself. Russian Patriarch Kirill, however, claims that a huge number of Russians see the head of state “not only as a successful politician, but also as a very smart, kind and warm-hearted person.”

In reality, Putin has successfully eliminated all of his major political opponents, and is trying to portray himself as a “good Tsar” who is allegedly surrounded by “bad boyars” (members of the highest rank of the Russian feudal aristocracies). How successful he really was will be known only after the war in Ukraine.

Kirill is right about one thing, though: Putin is smart. A stupid person could not have held continuous positions as president or prime minister since 1999. Catherine the Great, who was undoubtedly highly intelligent, reigned over Russia for 34 years. If Putin stays in power until 2036, which is what the Russian constitution allows, he will become the longest-serving Russian leader.

But one day he will have to go, one way or another. After he finally leaves the Kremlin, it will take many decades for Russia to recover from Putin’s “successful, very kind, and warm-hearted” rule.

I would be surprised to see Shoigu go too as well for what it is worth.