Let's Take a Look at the Face of Ukraine's New Defense Minister Rustern Umerov Together

The appointment of this minister is a trope and a custard and duck-whistle.

Most of my posts start out with an appeal to physiognomy, a discredited and hateful, sometimes even illegal pseudoscience and this story will be no different. Meet Rustern Umerov, the new Defense Minister of Ukraine:

Now here is what the official bio on this creature says:

A Crimean Tatar, eh? Here is some Western info on the new minister:

The 41-year-old is a prominent official of the Crimean Tatar community who has represented Kyiv in sensitive negotiations with Moscow, including peace talks at the start of the war.

Umerov was allegedly poisoned during negotiations on ending the Russian invasion in March 2022. However, he later denied the reports, urging people not to trust  "unverified information".

The ex-MP told the BBC at the time he was determined to bring about a "political and diplomatic resolution" to Russia's "brutal" war, suggesting working out a solution required courage. 

Umerov was born in what was then the Soviet Republic of Uzbekistan, where his family had been exiled under Stalin. As a child, his family resettled in Crimea when the Tatars were allowed to return during the 80s and 90s 

He began his career in the telecom industry in 2004 and has been an MP since 2019.

Umerov takes over a defence ministry blighted by accusations of corruption, with several scandals surrounding the procurement of goods and equipment for the army at inflated prices hitting the headlines recently.

Several arrests have also rocked regional recruitment offices, where officers have been accused of taking bribes to allow men to avoid Ukraine's military draft.

Tatars are not a real thing. This is because they are supposed to be Turks, but we know that Turks aren’t real - just ask the founder of modern Turkey, Kemal Ataturk, who believed that they came from the lost continent of Mu:

That is, there are indeed people who identify as Tatar and most look like Russians.

This is the famous lesbian grunge-rock singer Zemfira:

She is a Volga Tartar and she has some real banger tracks. The most famous one was used in the soundtrack to Brother 2, which I believe is the best Russian film made to date.

Here are what some of Turkey’s top Turkish actors look like:

And then just google some pictures of Tatars from different countries and regions:

If were to do a blood analysis of tartars in Tatarstan, Russia, we will find that they are essentially genetically identical to Russians although probably a bit diluted because of proximity to the swarth in the south. The most likely explanation for why this situation came about is that proto-Slavs in that area were conquered by a Turkic colonizer elite. Like Hungary, essentially. Or Turkey for that matter. Umerov, like the other Tatars in the Slavlands, is Muslim to some extent i.e., hardly at all. Unfortunately, the Russian government encourages and supports the reawakening of Islamicism in these hitherto Sovietized and atheistic regions. Why? I’ll talk about that another day, I promise.

As for Umerov, well, ethnically-speaking, he looks like he belongs to a different tribe, frankly:

But don’t believe your own lying eyes, peasant! Being suspicious of our official narrative would be an “- ism” according to our state-mandated “- ology”.

Unlike myself, however, many Russian Telegram channels immediately committed an ideological offense by noticing the un-noticeable and were having a field day mocking this new appointment. Big channels picked on the fact that Umerov looks like a walking, talking “Grabbler” or “Happy Merchant” meme come to life.

But I condemn them for that and for whatever else they may or may not be being accused of being and saying. There is no room for whatever it is that they are accused of being and saying in the current year.

Russian sources have a lot more to say about Umerov than Western ones, naturally.

First things first: he is very corrupt and was stealing money for many years when he was involved in the energy industry in Crimea and using mafia tactics to strong-arm opposition to his crooked schemes. Then, while working for the State Property Fund, he stole lots more. This is rather rich considering that the West says he was appointed by Zelensky to combat corruption and because his predecessor was corrupt. His predecessor, Reznikov, was indeed corrupt and he was from the same tribe as Zelensky and all the other oligarchs in the Slavlands. The reason why anyone gets a job in the government at all anywhere is to steal money and provide kickbacks to one’s bosses who got them the job in the first place.

This is how Liberal Democracy works. Corruption is the foundation of the entire system, which is built on putting the interests of the oligarchy above all other considerations. And the easiest way to make sure that criminals run the governments of the world is to make sure that dumb, greedy, spiteful and superstitious people, who are the vast majority of the masses, are given the right to shout down and tear apart their betters and get led by the mass media into brutal wars over and over again.

Secondly: he was chosen at a young age to be an American asset. He was invited to take part in the FLEX program, which is run by the US State Department, which is basically an extension of Israel’s State Department. Notable alumni of this program and others include something like half the politicians of the Slavlands from the younger, post-Soviet generation. The lead singer of Okean Elzy, the most popular Ukrainian rock group, was a FLEX asset who was supposed to run for president of Ukraine or at least the Rada, but who chickened out.

Over in Russia, Margarita Simonyan, the deeply compromised and anti-Russian network manager was a FLEX program participant as well and is on record stating that she wanted to be an American journalist working in Russia to spread Liberalism and Democracy.

Well, thanks to her connections to pro-Western operatives like Grovov, Lesin and Kovalchuk (all close friends of Putin who outrank him in seniority, actually), she was given control of RT in her 20s. That is to say, being a FLEXer is a big deal and guarantees the recipient a very auspicious career in the Slavlands.

That and having a trust-worthy face like Umerov:

Thirdly: he has close ties with Turkey because of his days making money with the Turkish company “Turkcell” while in Crimea, which “Lifecell” - a mobile empire run by fellow “Tartar” Rinat Akhmetov - is part of. Just so you understand, Turkey is very involved in Ukraine and spends money on securing assets there among the politican and economic caste. Turkish intelligence focuses a lot on the Orthodox Church as well, which is no doubt why they so successfully managed to peel Ukraine away from the Moscow Patriarchate. Umerov was involved in coordinating direct pressure on pro-Moscow orthodox churches and employed targeted harassment actions against them. Turkey was also heavily involved in promoting Crimean Tatar extremism, and Russia considers the Tatar parliament extremist and illegitimate.

I’m putting together a team.

Our hero was essentially the treasurer for this vehemently anti-Slavic organization as well as its representative and was sent by Kiev to Erdogan’s inauguration as a representative (the team pictured above). Here:

He, of course, was initially trained as the "leader" of the Crimean Tatar people. For many years, Umerov was an assistant to Mustafa Dzhemilev , the head of the Mejlis banned in Russia.

"Dzhemilev's Purse"

Unofficially, Umerov was called "Dzhemilev's purse." He opened several foundations and public organizations controlled by the United States. To create "movements" of the Crimean Tatar people.

One of his relatives, Ilmi Umerov, was a well-known person in Crimea, the deputy head of the Majlis, banned in Russia, the head of the Bakhchisaray district from 2005 to 2014.

It was Ilmi Umerov who “protected the shawls” on the Ai-Petri plateau, which the Ukrainian authorities could not cope with all these years. Ilmi Umerov and his militants, brought up in special camps in the Bakhchisarai region, seized land in the Crimea (the famous Crimean "squatters" of hectares of the best land).

Money for all these purposes came from the funds opened by Rustem Umerov.

Fourthly, despite him being an obvious Turkish and American and Israeli (by extension of both) agent, he still needs an oligarch krisha to latch himself onto while operating in Ukraine. Enter Viktor Pinchuk:

Pinchuk is a notorious oligarch who has been operating out of the Slavlands for many years now. He is also a “Tartar” if you get my drift i.e., he is the same ethnicity as Zelensky and he deserves an entire article of his own chronicling his murderous rampage through the country. Suffice it to say, he is, as far as we can tell, the West’s favored oligarch in Ukraine at the moment, and has managed to get his rival oligarch, Kholomoisky, who sponsored Azov and got Zelensky elected, to flee to Israel. Umerov is part of his party, Golos and so we can interpret his appointment as a sign that a new gang of criminals is muscling out some of Kholomoisky’s boys.

Most importantly of all: There are also grotesque nudes ostensibly belonging to Umerov on Telegram. I don’t know if these are real:

But we do know that he looks like Harvey Weinstein despite ostensibly being a so-called “Tartar” and that yes, he filmed himself jacking off and put it on the internet. I can’t confirm the photos because I’m not going to watch the tapes, but you can yourself, if you want to.

**

Now, Umerov’s appointment blows yet another hole in the “Ukraine is a Nationalist-run country and we are at war with Nationalism” Kremlin narrative.

Frankly, I think Umerov is Kremlin-approved, actually.

I say this because he is rumored to be good friends with Putin’s good friend Roman Abramovich. We know that Umerov is very tight with Rinat Akhmetov, his old business partner, who we also know was close to Abramovich. Since Abramovich is Putin’s hand-picked negotiator with Kiev and Ankara, and Moscow followed Abramovich’s orders for many years in Donbass, well, it is possible and not all that far-fetched at all, is all I am saying.

Umerov was present during the secret peace talks that took place last march in Turkey between Moscow and Kiev which ended the SMO, only to have Putin declare that the Kremlin was tricked when Kiev kept fighting. Umerov was negotiating against Roman Abramovich, Putin’s top negotiator, and rumored buddy of Umerov. Roman, you will recall, was involved in the Minsk process - after which Moscow claimed that they were tricked, remember? Then Roman was the one who brokered the first grain deal - you know the one where Putin got tricked? And then he brokered the prisoner swap with Turkey with guarantees that Erdogan would keep released Azov fighters from returning to Ukraine - well, when that went south, the Kremlin stated that they were tricked! And Roman was also at the latest grain deal negotiations in Sochi between Putin and Erdogan after which Putin once again declared that he was tricked.

Putin is simply too naive and good-natured for this world. The baby-faced angel!

I bring this up to speculate that I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that our new defense minister was at most or all of those meetings alongside his “Tatar” brother Abramovich helping lead the hapless and clueless Russian leader by the nose.

But what do you guys think? Will Putin let himself get tricked again by his esteemed “Tatar” handlers or will he learn his lesson for the next time?

**

While we are discussing physiognomies, I feel obligated to point out that the Defense Minister of Russia looks like this:

And that this was the previous one:

Here is what the second in command looks like:

And this is the deputy under him who is in charge of reconstruction in Donbass who has been accused of stealing millions and sending his wife on shopping sprees to Europe during the SMO:

Here are the two heads of DNR and LNR respectively:

And:

Compare this to, say, what the last Tsar looked like:

Or his ministers like Stolypin:

Or General Samsonov:

Do you notice any differences?

Does anything jump to mind immediately?

Since we are on the topic of physiognomy, here is a handy guide to Slavland phenotypes to get you started:

Pay attention to how few faces resembling the first two columns are present in the Russian or Donbass or Kievan governments nowadays.

Here is Zelensky, by the way:

Here is the young Kiriyenko:

Here are the people who ran the Gulags in Russia:

Israelovitch, Abram, Abramovich x 2, Moiseevich, Weinshtok, Jacob, Davidovich, Aaronovich, Rosenberg …

Here is Surkov (Dadayev):

Here is a young Soloviev (Shapiro):

Here is a young Primakov (Finklestein):

Here is Jeffrey Epstein Kovalchuk (the man who owns most of the media in Russia, Putin’s personal banker):

Here is Simonyan:

Here is Abramovich (who met with Erdogan and Putin in Sochi again recently):

Here is young Deripaska the oligarch, who despite popular consensus on the internet, was never arrested by Putin or stripped of his assets, ever:

He was actually in the news recently for having hired an FBI agent to do his dirty work for him and the FBI freelancer got in trouble for it. Deripaska was involved with Manafort and bribing American officials. A true “Russiagate” but you never hear about it. Why? Because he’s not Russian, that’s why. More on that another time though.

Here is Igor Sechin, Russia’s current most powerful oligarch and inner circle close friend to Putin himself:

Here is a better picture of Sechin:

Hmm, how about this one:

Look.

If some nerve inside you isn’t send signals of shock and horror and danger coursing up your spine at the sight of this gallery of rouges, well, maybe you need to get a doctor to do a check-up on you.

You need to get better at identifying threats and recognizing patterns is all I can say.

Do Westerners think that Russians look this way? Maybe that is why so many Westerners hate Russians. They actually hate “Tatars”, but think that they are dealing with Russians. The only Russians and Ukrainians that they see are the ones in the news for stealing kidneys and the Russians of Brighton Beach, or living around Boca Ratan, Florida.

I look nothing like any of these rogues. But my casual readers prefer to invest their trust in the narratives of people that look like this:

Colonel Cassad - one of the ZAnon original gangstas.

Or this:

Lying aside, no one deserves to be tortured by spooks.

To be fair, I don’t show my face.

But I will eventually be doxxed, of that I have no doubt, so let’s just make a deal now, OK?

If I end up looking anything like the people I lampoon, feel free to disregard anything I ever wrote. I wouldn’t even blame you. Learn to distrust ugly people. An ugly face is the product of an ugly soul. You hate ugliness only because you love beauty. If you’re going to let yourself get tricked, at least get tricked by someone that doesn’t look like a troll.

In many ways, Hinkle is the worst of all the ZAnon crowd. If you trust an ugly person, you have only yourself to blame, really. But, good-looking people shouldn’t trick normal-looking people. Hinkle makes all good-looking people look bad.