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Don Smith's avatar

The last time I commented was on your interview with the malthusian and I had mentioned that I saw the solution to the worlds ills was for you smart white men and women to get together and multiply. That sounds racist because it is racist af. You must understand that I was coming from the position of an old white man and we don't even like half of our own race much less anyone else's. If anyone finds this offensive they can kiss my ass, talk to their therapist or do whatever they've gotta do that allows us both to live with it. At least that was my position, it all changed last night. You see my sister works for one of the tribes here in Okla ( I don't know which one because ever since she learned to talk she hasn't shut up and I learned to tune her out years ago) and she's been searching all these genealogical records trying get us an indian roll number (sorry, "indigenous people's" roll number) everyone in Okla wants one of these because it basically gets you a bunch of free shit and you know how we all want free shit. Anyway she found it, our great-great grandmother, Lucille Freeman was a Chickasaw, but wait there's more! Lucille's father's name was Free-man, that's right, I have monkey blood in me, I am no longer an old crotchety white man, now I'm oppressed and I demand reparations, so you Rurik, that little six bucks a month I've been sending you, your little lily white ass can just turn around and send it right back because you owe me.

On my word all this shit is true, just found out last night, except I'm not oppressed and no one owes me anything. My point in all of this is we're a bunch of mongrels genetically, it's culture that defines us

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Læwis's avatar

Funny shit, loving this sarcastic style of writing.

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